i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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