I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
