Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
