Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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