I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
