dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
