I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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