Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!

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(773): View more from Illinois

the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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(315): View more from New York

After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"

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(425): View more from Washington

It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"

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