In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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