i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
