my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
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i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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