what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
