Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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