meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
