i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
