The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
