butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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