It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
