You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
