I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
