but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
