So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
