i'm signing you up for texting rehab
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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