Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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