why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
