sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
