lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
last night I used snow as a chaser
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
