just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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