I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
