AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
