Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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