she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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