road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize