Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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