I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
