Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
