her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
