MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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