I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
