butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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