Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
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Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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