so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it hurts more in the daytime
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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