Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
