FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
