Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
