And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My breasts were aching with rage.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Randomize
