JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize