I don't usually arrange sex via text message
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
