you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
