And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
