Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
