when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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