1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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