I cannot find my penis.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
