Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
