Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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