u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize