Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
